Confession: I’m a Brat And I Don’t Give Fuck

Author: Miss Coochie Couture

Confession: I’m a brat (and I don’t give a f*ck)

if you leave a thread hanging I’m going to keep tugging at it, and I apologise upfront. I know I can be endearing, funny and playful, but as per a “normal”brat, I can be annoying at times too. It isn’t something I “put on” as part of a scene, it is just who I am and I’m not at all sorry about it.

And this is why.

To start with, let’s look at some of the ideas of what constitutes a brat or what I like to call bratology.

[Note: You will find, over time, that I tend to put ‘ology’ at the end of words because it makes it look like I’ve given it some real consideration, spent hours researching it and not, as is the usual case, I’ve decided to write something at the last minute.I like to call it ‘fluffology”]

“A brat is a consensual role the submissive takes on because they enjoy being a little bit of an as*hole to their dominant partner, (also stylized as Dom, with a capital D), which of course can lead to some consensual punishment such as a spanking. *wink wink*” ?(MensHealth, Dec 2023)

“Make me.

This is the trademark saying for brats. A "brat" is a delightfully disobedient sub within the Dom/sub dynamic in BDSM "Brats enjoy questioning dominance, as well as like for dominance to be proven to them," says Emerson Karsh, a kink educator.”

(Mashable, April 2023)

Is it a role which submissives sometime play?

Well I guess for some it is. A lot depends on the couples dynamic and it’s probably more common in lifestyle relationships than in ProDomme realms as it can be annoying as fuck as well as time consuming and if you’ve spent quite a bit of time scheduling an planing a session, the last thing you want  is a petulant client who just wants to fuck you about for fun.

Can someone be a natural brat?

I remember reading a post by the wonderful Satinatrix (https://www.instagram.com/satanatrix?igsh=MWhmYWtqZ2lodXhpaw==) about how she uses to find the whole best thing really annoying until she came across some subby friends who were just naturally brattish and she realised for some, it’s just who they are.

That post hit home for me. I’m very wilful, if you tell me no, I will want to know why.  If I’m given advice or someone suggests that if I did x it would make my life/well-being better, it will be months before I do it, because I will do on my terms and in my own time, no matter how detrimental delaying it may be.

I also don’t like to submit easily. I was recently flogged, paddled and hit with a number of implements by two friendly Mistresses and I refused to show any reaction, making funny remarks about things on tv (it was Christmas themed porn so deserving of comment) . My breasts we bruised as fuck and at one point I made one of the Dommes stop as I thought they had knocked one of my nipples off. But I didn’t want to show them that it actually hurt like fuck because they had set out to break me and I wasn’t going to let them have the satisfaction.

If it wasn’t for my wife saying that’s enough because she won’t give in, I think we would still be there now.

I was asked afterwards by one of the viewers of the beating why I had taken it, to which I replied “because fuck em, that’s why!”.

So if it’s a natural thing, where does it come from?

Ok for me, and I can only speak for myself here, it’s from complex trauma and subsequent PTSD.  I’ve endured a lot in life and I’ve in the most part has to survive it by not showing its impact on me. I’ve done this by using humour and wilfulness as a way of protecting myself.

It’s become a part of who I am. If I am feeling unsafe, nervous or unsure, I will disassociate physically but still retain some connection to the world verbally.

My form of Borderline Personality  means I internalise my emotions which in turn can give the appearance of them being dis regulated externally. What you see on the outside is not what’s going on on the inside.

That sounds complicated and surely that makes you a proper pain in the arse.

Yes it does. A sadist likes to keep their submissive on a string they dangle. They will prod, spank, zap and slap you as you dangle before them, because they like to see you dance to their tune. It’s often playful and a happy Sadist makes for a fun Sadist.

The more fun a Sadist is having, the more bratty I will become. It’s not purely because I’m a masochist, but it’s also another part of my survival tool box. I mirror their behaviour. So the more they want to hurt me and make me dance, the more I will want them to hurt me but I’ll pull at that string because, well, like I said above “fuck em”.

Isn’t that dangerous though?

Damn right it is.

I’m a good friend of Mistress Chalice, in fact she was one of those who were beating me whilst I was taking the piss. I love her energy and the more she has to hurt you, the more excited she gets, it’s fun to watch and for me, it’s fun to play to as well.

I now get phone calls from her saying things like I want to put staples in you, you’d be ok with that right? Or, hey I want to wrap you in barbed wire for a photo shoot.

I then usually add something even more outrageously stupid like, yeah imagine if you wrapped me in barbed wire and then tickled my feet. It’s not because I actually think that’s a good idea, but it’s because I (stupidly) don’t want to show how fucking scary that sounds.

So I’m a brat out of necessity, it’s not something I can control. I don’t turn it on purposefully as part of a role. It occurs in my vanilla life too.

But I’m not ashamed of that. It’s helped me survive what life has thrown at me.

And, I’ll be sure to write about what barbed wire feels like and how important it is to lie very, very, very fucking still.